Monday at Last

“Monday at Last”

I am sitting paralyzed at the realization that Monday is less than 8 hours away. It feels like just yesterday, I left my office with a pep in my step and keys in hand, excited about the upcoming weekend. I am seriously considering not sleeping tonight in order to stretch out my weekend a few more hours.

I hate hating Mondays! As I sat, pouting and having a pity party, I figured out a few things that might help you and me not cry tomorrow morning.

• Stop living for the weekends. We have to stop seeing Monday as dooms day and Friday as the day of Jubilee. I am not sure if you know this, but restaurants take reservations for 2 on Mondays. Parks are still open to the public on Tuesdays. Movies have showings on Thursdays. Fun activities do not have office hours. Stop “existing” through the week and “living” on the weekends. Live life 7 days a week.
• Take daily selfies. I am not talking about photos either. Every day, do at least one thing that makes you smile. Go to that Zumba class  you loved so much on Tuesday nights. Treat yourself to your favorite cupcake spot at lunch on Monday. This Thursday, call your girlfriend and talk for an hour about things that make you laugh until your side hurts. Whether 5 minutes or 50, take time for a daily selfie.
• Maximize the mundane. I have come to grips with the fact that my 9 – 5 would not make the list of the top 10 exciting occupations but there are aspects of it that I really love. For example, I have a co worker that really should be a stand-up comedian. Each day, I make it a point to stop by her office just to get a good laugh. Also, since I work with the elderly I have started listening to their personal life stories. I have heard war and love stories that would put “Saving Private Ryan” and “The Notebook” to shame. I will continue to look for the little things about my day that really are diamonds in the rough.
• Shrink the “To Do” List. The weekday list of “To Dos” in most of our lives looks like rolling credits at the end of a movie. We spend our week days trying to check off a list that is forever growing. If we overbook our days, then every day we will feel overbooked. Figure out what things are truly “must dos” and which things are “will dos”.
• Change your thinking and your language. Don’t refer to your job as “this stupid dump” but rather “the place that I get to showcase my talents and skills”. Don’t think of getting your kids ready in the morning and to school on time as the “morning rat race” but as “another moment to bond with your babies”. Instead of saying “Monday already” ,how about trying “Monday at last!” I know it may sound like the power of positive thinking because it is. Your thinking changes your behavior and your behavior changes your experience. Make it a point to experience Monday differently this week and forever.

MEET MOMMA

Do people really draw straws to make decisions? Flip coins? Or play Rock Scissors Paper? Melissa needed to make a decision but couldn’t.  Everything in her body was telling her… warning her…begging her not to go to her mom’s.  A lifetime of being guilted into submission was going to end today.  She took her foot with chipped polish and whipped it across the carpet drawing a symbolic line in the sand.

Forget this head or tails decision making. She did not need a lucky coin to tell her she was right.  Her head told her to take her tail to the mall. She wasn’t in the mood for mama drama today. She really wanted to take time for herself .

 “I need to get these raggedy toes done. Maybe buy a new outfit. I may even see a movie. I never get to spend time by myself. So what’s wrong with that?”

Pausing to contemplate, “Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

She turned to go to her bedroom to find the perfect tennis shoes to match her shorts. As she walked past the opened door to the bathroom, she caught a glimpse of her reflection and jumped in amazement.

She doubled back to the mirror, thinking the intensity of what she saw would fade, but it didn’t. She saw the resemblance of her mom in her face more than ever before. People always said she looked just like Candice, but it wasn’t until the past few years she began to notice it. Today it was undeniable and strong. She was having one of those Simba gazing in the water and seeing Mufasa moments.

She moved from shock, to denial and then to pride. She smirked as she reminded herself that the woman she had become was because of the woman Candice was. Despite her mom’s faults, she had given her and Alyssa the very best. So helping her mom lick envelopes for a couple of hours should not be an issue.

“She always wins!”, she whined as she stormed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to put on shoes. Just then she realized she had to change out of her shorts. There was no way she was stepping foot in her mom’s house in those shorts. She could only imagine what her mom would say. Melissa was not in the mood for any commentary on her wardrobe today.

She quickly changed into a pair of oversized sweat pants, T-shirt and comfortable flip flops, grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

Twenty minutes later she was pulling up in her mom’s driveway. She got out the car and slammed the door, “Uhh, she always wins. Gotta love her, though.”

As she unlocked the front door, Candice jumped from around the corner, “You could have called first. You scared me half to death. What are you doing here?”

Offended and confused, “What do you mean what am I doing here? You asked me to come help you address invitations.”

“Yeah, but you told me no.”

Rubbing her ears, “Mom, where are the invitations?” Walking towards the kitchen before she changed her mind about helping.

“Well, thanks for coming.”, as she noticed her daughter’s frustration she walked to get the invitations and kissed Melissa on her forehead.

It took them an hour to finish addressing, sealing and stamping the invitations. To Melissa’s surprise, she actually enjoyed it. They swapped stories about their week, discussed a few TV shows they both watched and updated each other on bits of extended family gossip.

Melissa really did love her mom and enjoyed spending time with her.

Just as Melissa reflected on how much she enjoyed spending time with her mom, Candice broke the silence, “I can’t believe you are wearing shoes with your toes out. Look at that polish. It has to be at least a month old. You need to get your toes done. ”

Laughing out loud at the irony, “Actually mom, I would have been sitting with my toes in a tub of warm bubbling water right now, but I decided to come help you.”

“Oh, well maybe when you finish here you can go get your toes and your hair done.”

“My hair, what’s wrong with my hair.”

“You know I am not liking this natural thing on you. Some people have the texture to do it but you don’t. Yours just looks kind of kinky and messy. It really doesn’t become you.”

Melissa kissed her mom on the forehead, grabbed her keys and headed towards the door, “Mom, have a great day. I will call you later.”

“So you are upset because I told you that you needed your toes done and your hair pressed. It’s true, right? You get bent out of shape too easily.”

Melissa did not stop to respond. 

But Candice was relentless and followed her out the door.

“What is it with you lately? You always have an attitude with me. I can’t say anything without you getting pissed off! All I said was that you ...?”

“Mom, you don’t need to say it again. It’s not about my toes or my hair. I’m just sick of you having something to say about everything! And you never care if you hurt my feelings or not.”

“Hurt your feelings? What are you, 16?”

“No, I am a 33 year old grown woman who has the right to live my life without fearing what her mom might say. Do you know I changed clothes before I came over here because I knew you would criticize me? That’s crazy!”

Just then, Alyssa pulled up to her mom’s house. As she walked up, Melissa stormed off.

Alyssa stopped to give her sister a hug but Melissa never broke stride towards the car.

“What’s wrong with you?” Alyssa asked puzzled.

“I can only take her in doses and I have swallowed all I can handle today.” Melissa says as she opens and slams the door to her car.

She sat in the car trying to sort through her emotions. Was she over reacting? Why did she feel so angry right now? Had she been disrespectful to her mom? Right as she put the car in drive, Alyssa opens the passenger door and says “Let’s talk.”

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  So you have met Melissa and Candice. Now you have the option to create Alyssa. Chime in on how you think Alyssa personality should be. Comment below.

Meet Melissa

Meet Melissa

     Melissa put on an old pair of shorts that she discovered at the very back of her closet. She closed her eyes and pulled them up past her thighs, the first big hurdle. Then her butt. She took a step. Then two. Then she buttoned them. She opened one eye hoping she was still breathing. She was. She ventured to take another step, then another. Next she took the biggest risk yet and did a slight skip. Still breathing. She got so excited that she started running around her room. She put her Iphone on the docking station, turned it to shuffle, pumped the volume all the way up and danced her now little booty off. She did a drop and made her "bootie touch the ground" as Beyonce just told her to. Melissa checked her shorts and to her amazement the seam was still in tack.
   
      This was a major accomplishment. What a way to start of 2014! This time last year she placed these same shorts and about half of her wardrobe in the very black abyss of the back of her closet. She had already given half of her wardrobe away to a local women's shelter. Not because she was so generous, but because she was so chunky. She had gotten up to the heaviest weight in her life. Even past her pregnancy weight. She hated it. She hated having to unbutton her jeans just to sit down in her car. She hated being tired from climbing a single flight of steps. Men who once called her fine, now referred to her as "thick" and she hated it.


     But no more. 30 pounds lighter and 100% percent happier, she danced around her room. This was not just about appearance, weight or some other indicator of vanity. This was just one more drop in her big bucket of self improvements. This time last year, Melissa decided to stop envying the hair, the cars, the money, the men and the lives of the "Basketball Wives", "Real House Wives" and all those other ex-wives. She decided to live her own "Fabulous Life".


     She decided to go back to school, recently got a promotion at work, put her self on a food and financial diet, and repair some relationships. 2013 was good to her. Being able to wear these shorts was just confirmation that this upcoming year was going to be even more fabulous.


     Though it was January, it was considerably warm outside. This was one of the benefits of living in Dallas. Winter was only an indication of time, not weather or temperature. The high for today was going to be in the mid 70s, so she wanted to wear her shorts. She normally talked badly about those people who used the slightest peak of sun as an excuse to show flesh, but today, she was going to be one of those people. She wanted to celebrate by wearing her shorts and doing something outside and letting the sun hit her legs that had not seen daylight in years. She often laughed at the fact that her ankles, wrist and neck were two shades darker than the rest of her body. Those days were over. She couldn't wait until summer. She was going to the beach and lay out in a swim suit, maybe even a two piece. She had never "layed out" in her life because black people and fat people typically don't do that, but now that her fat self was gone, "This black girl is laying out in a few months." she said out loud in excitement.


     She felt Kirk Franklin's "I like me" was a perfect song to end her dancing celebration. Not to mention the fact she was out of breath. She tossed herself on the couch and crossed her newly sculpted legs. While admiring herself, she contemplated all of the possible ways to celebrate today. Just then the phone rang. She had about 10 people who she wished it would be. Kristy, her long time friend that always made her laugh so hard she had to make sure she peed before getting on the phone with her. Alyssa, her younger but very bossy sister and best friend. Jessica, her neighbor and exercise partner. She would have been fine if it were Lisa, or Jason, or Michelle, but the one and only person she prayed it was not, was her mom.


    Her mom was her buzz killer. No mater how high she was and what she was high on (life, the buzz from the single drink she always ordered at happy hour, a promotion, WHATEVA) her mom would find some way to knock her off the high. Melissa had spent at least 20 years of her life trying to figure if this was intentional or accidental. Whatever the intention, her mom had earned her rightful place as the Queen of Irritation.


     There was no one in the world, other than her daughter, that could even hold a candle to the love she had for her mom. However, there was no one in the world that could so quickly take her to the peek of her rage.


     She let the phone ring twice. The second ring just sounded like her mom's ring. She could not explain how the ring was different from others but it just was. The name on the caller I.D. was like reading the results of a pregnancy test when you got whatever answer you did not want. Williams, Candice. Her mom.


     Now the question was should she answer or let it go to voicemail. Her mom knew she was home, so if she didn't answer she knew she would have to explain, no defend, herself later. But if she answered, she knew she would come crashing down off of her "I'm so happy with me" moment. She flipped a mental coin, heads or tails…


"Hey momma. What's up?"


"Why does something have to be "up" for me to give you a call? You act like I don't ever call unless I want something?"


     The tips of Melissa's ears started to tingle. This happened anytime she got upset. She had been on the phone for less than 10 seconds and her ears were already heating up. It normally took her mom at least 3 minutes to make her ears tingle, but this was an all time record. She wondered was her mom getting better at pushing her to the edge or was it her that was more quickly walking to it. Which ever it was, all she knew was that 10 seconds into the conversation, her ears were hot.


"Mom, it's just an expression. It was not a loaded question. But I am on my way out the door, so what's up?"


"Well since I see that I am being rushed, let me get to the point. I needed you to come help me address the rest of these invitations. I have to get them in the mail today or they won't get out in time. The luncheon is next week, so they have to get in the mail today."


"Momma, I hadn't planned on coming to your side of town today. I just really wanted to take some time out for myself today since I don't often get the chance to …"


Nearly yelling, "I asked you to help me with this at least 2 weeks ago!"


Defending herself, "Yeah, but you have not brought it up since then, so how did I know that you wanted me to help you at 2:35 pm on January 15, 2014." Ears on fire.


"You know what Melissa, go do whatever is so important that you can't spare an hour of your time to help your mom. Have a good day. And by the way, I will still pick Summer up from school today like you asked me, last week."


"Hello. Hello? Hello! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can't stand when someone hangs up in my face. Total disrespect."


     Fanning her ears, she slumped on the couch, physically falling from her high. As much as she knew she was not wrong for not wanting to plan her entire day around her mom's last minute request, she couldn't shake the guilty feeing. This made her even more upset.


"Oh my goodness. That is not what I was trying to do with my day. What am I going to do?"

Option 1:    Go help her mom. After all, she did ask her to help her over two weeks ago. Her mom helps her out a lot with Summer, so maybe this was the least she could do. Option 2:    The Mall. What better way to celebrate her weight loss goal than to buy a new outfit. Also, when ever she goes to the mall, she all ways runs into someone she knows. Who would it be today? Option 3:    Wash her car. She had not done this on her own in years, but it just felt like a good idea. And besides, every time she went to the car wash, at least one guy always flirted with her. Wonder if it would be a guy driving a Kia, Camry, or C-Class today? Option 4:    Dinner with her girlfriends. Her and the girls always had great times together. Are you ready to meet Alyssa and the rest of the group of girlfriends. Cast your vote in the form of a comment.